When I set out to look into the genealogy, it was confirming or denying something on the Arrernte (paternal) side of my family that was the driving reason. I obviously ended up confirming it, and doing so via a second family line, thus making it incontravertible. Yet as I kept researching, my maternal side ended up taking all my time. It was like I had solved the "one mystery" on one side, then discovered the other side was just non-stop mystery that needed to be found out. I hope to return to the paternal side research soon, though when I do, I will be focussing on the women in it. Nearly all the work thus far has been on the men, and mainly the white men at that, so a black and feminist lens will give more scope.
My maternal nanna's mother, Avis McVeigh, kind of ended up being the hero I didn't realise I needed. Yet, I wouldn't have realised just how much if Avis had lived in a time following the passing of no-fault divorce legislation. Don't get me wrong, no-fault divorce is essential, and no couple wishing to go their separate ways should have to lay all the sordid details on the table for the legal system to consider as grounds. It was a sick practice, and it's none of the government's business. But if these old school divorce papers hadn't existed when my great-grandparents were going their separate ways, I may never have known the strong-willed and independent woman whose mitochondrial DNA I carry.
To go back a bit though, Avis was born to John McVeigh and Eliza Louisa Hibbert in 1902. She was the third of four children, and their only daughter. I have already introduced these two, but to recap, John McVeigh was a bootmaker. He had been born in Surry Hills, NSW, his father's name was William, and on researching to the best of my ability, I believe his mother's maiden name was Mary Murphy. I also believe he may have had a sister named Margaret, and that his parents were both illiterate which is why tracking their details has been difficult. William came from Belfast and died in Australia a mere 12 years after he got here.
Eliza Louisa Hibbert's parents were Joseph Hibbert and Eliza Sarah Kipps from Panton Hill, Vic, according to both her marriage and death certificates. Yet as I have stated, I am yet to find a birth certificate for Eliza Louisa. Her mother was having children well into her 40s, including two brothers who were younger than Eliza, and would have been 46 when Eliza was born, but I can't confirm any of this via the registry. I therefore need to solve a mystery here, because in my view, she was either simply not registered by her parents (rare in Vic, but it did happen), she was adopted, or she may have been the daughter of one of her older sisters, born out of wedlock, hidden amongst the family structure. Certainly, she had sisters old enough to have been her mother. Any intel here would be gratefully received because, as I also stated in an earlier entry, she had an older sister with a similar name, and other descendants constructing the family tree have gotten these two girls mixed up even though there was about a 17 year age gap between them, and they married different men. Anyway...
"Avis", not unlike "Mina" in the Waller/Ondaatje line, is a name that was passed down the generations, and the first Avis I can find was via Eliza Kipps' line, going back to 1780. At least one girl per generation got the name Avis as a first or middle name, and this has continued all the way down to my generation, with one of my sisters scoring it. It means "bird", and in the case of Avis McVeigh, it was probably the most suitable name for her, because the woman did not like cages.
There was a rumour in the family that my great-grandparents Avis and Harold Waller were not actually married, yet when I started digging, it was clear this was not correct. The marriage certificate and divorce papers laid waste to that theory quickly. What did become apparent is that they may as well have never married, as the two of them were lucky if they managed to spend a good 12 months under the same roof. They quarrelled, then Avis would shoot through back to her parents' place leaving Harold to do the same.
Harold filed for the divorce, 9 years after they separated, on the grounds of "abandonment". There was no opposing statement from Avis - she was more than happy to cop the "fault" and move onwards with her life. Avis had, nine years prior, packed up her belongings and those of my grandmother Lorna's, and shot through back to her parents' place. Why? It was simple really: Harold suggested that Avis should quit her job at the shoe factory, and be a stay-at-home mother. Avis wasn't having it.
Perhaps it's because I am a feminist reading these papers 90 years on from when they were filed, but unfortunately for Harold, I found the entire situation rather amusing. In his claims, he not only recounted that he got home one day to find the house untended and no evening meal prepared, but he details several times trying to reconcile only to have Avis stand her ground and refuse to be a housewife. If that wasn't bad enough, Harold worked with Avis' father John, and on the day she shot through for good, John informed Harold on the factory floor that "I wouldn't bother going home, mate" - I mean, kudos to John for backing in his daughter. There are other parts in this comedy of errors, but one part really stood out - from the beginning, Avis continually refused spousal support on the basis that she was an "independent woman who made her own money", and Harold was only ever expected to assist with the costs of raising his daughter, which he did.
Harold was, by no means, some conservative old dude who felt women needed to stay in their "place". Indeed, when it comes to the accounts I have heard of his second wife, she too was a rather independent and strong-willed woman, so if anything, the bloke had a type. He was though a man building his life and family in the 1920s, and Avis was ahead of her time. The accounts of Harold was that he was dashing, that he was musically talented, and that a couple of whiskeys down and he would be enthralling the house guests with the best of vaudeville performances. Perhaps what really happened here is that two charismatic young people met, had a whirlwind romance, then married, tried to slot into their expected roles, and found they were utterly unsuited for them? By the time they divorced, they had both met their future second spouses, and so at the end of the day, the paperwork was a mere formality.
Anyway, when it comes to Avis, what becomes clear when reading her paperwork is that the woman had some pretty clear feminist principles, even if, at the time, she may not have labelled them that herself. She fiercely guarded her independence. She worked at that shoe factory on the machines until she retired, and she even took work home with her to finish. She got a lot of pride out of her work, and this pride in making items to embellish the appearance of others translated to what she wore herself - she was known to always be immaculately put together, and turned out in well-made coats and clothing items. She smoked cigarettes using an elegant hold. All purchased with her own money, and proudly so.
The next bit of paperwork I found with regards to Avis relates to her second husband Norman, and his divorce papers from his previous marriage. Avis and Norman had been carrying on an affair while he was still married, and while his claim against his wife Thelma was eerily similar to Harold's (he claimed that his wife had refused to quit her job - I couldn't help but think he used the example to just have something to throw on the table), her account was harrowing. In short, she detailed some abuse, finding out about the affair, a bit of gaslighting, and being left financially hamstrung. Rather than hide the affair, it seemed Norman may have flaunted it. The two women ended up getting to know each other quite well, and there was one rather harrowing experience they shared which I will not detail. In short, unlike Harold's account of his marriage to Avis, there was nothing to like or find amusing in this divorce-fault proceeding between Norm and Thelma.
That said, there was one thing Thelma did detail which really struck me. An encounter happened between the women where Avis found out that Norman had not been providing Thelma with child support for their son, and this infuriated Avis. She ended up giving Thelma money from her own coffers to cover that child support, and ensuring that this did not happen again. That this was acknowledged in the divorce suit says that there was, at least, some amount of begrudging respect and solidarity between the women regardless of the awfulness of the rest of it all, and I had to admire this.
The final bit of paperwork I found related to Avis was her will. As mentioned, Avis purchased 19 Parslow St, Clifton Hill off her daughter's in-laws, and did so as a sole owner. Her and Norman lived there together, but it was her house. Avis clearly did her will a few years prior to her passing, and at a time when Norman was still alive, so she made provisions in her will that included him. These provisions were, however, just brilliant.
Firstly, on her death, she named her daughter as her sole heir and beneficiary, and therefore the owner of this property, along with all her other worldly goods. Fine, that's not abnormal, but had she died before Norman, according to her will, Norman was allowed to live in the house only as long as he paid the council rates, and took care of any bills and maintenance needs. If he didn't, his step-daughter, as the property owner, was entitled to turf him out. Avis' final statement to the world was to ensure not only the financial independence of the women who followed her, but also to ensure that they were never in a position of subservience to a man. It was magnificent.
There are a lot of restless and headstrong women that reside within this side of the family, myself being one of them. Women who are not terribly good at being told their place, and instead try to carve out their own ways. It is therefore rather lovely to find out that in my great-grandmother Avis, we have an example of such a woman who was doing this long before it was the done thing, and managing to thrive while she did.
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